| newwww livejournal! |
[17 Apr 2005|10:25pm] |
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mood |
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dundundun |
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music |
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shaolin punk- Fuck Against The Wall |
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i made a new livejournal.
yes, after fover of having the same name,
i'm going to change it. i hate this name.
and i feel the need for a change. woo!
sooo... add it:
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _guillotine__
you better.
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| good weekend! |
[17 Apr 2005|07:14pm] |
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mood |
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tirrred. |
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music |
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the Dresden Dolls |
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Friday Cody came with me to Media Play.
we hung out in there and then in Ulta and then in Target for a while.
it was realllly cool.
i love Cody.
Saturday i went to Six Flags with Tabitha and Marissa.
it was awesommmme.
Tabitha and i did that tied-to-a-rope-swingy-bungy-thingy.
it was the most amazing thing everrr!!!
i want to do it agaiiiiiinnnn.
mhmm.
so that day was really awesome.
there were like no long lines (until Superman)
and we rode like everything it was really cool.
except Marissa and i almost died on the Scream Machine.
i'm not exaggerating at all, either.
but yeah, that was very cool.
Happy Birthday Tabitha!
todayyy,
i went to the Renaissance Festival with Cody.
and Shauna came also.
it was way awesome.
cheeeeeese bread! mmmm.
yeah it was awesome.
Shauna just left here.
and i'm tired as hell now.
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| in web design |
[15 Apr 2005|11:39am] |
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mood |
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nondescript |
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music |
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i want to hear Now I'm Nothing. by nin. |
] |
all the stress from this week has really built up.
but,
Anthony and Avi have finally gone home.
so the house looks a little less like it got hit by a tornado.
Christina's out of intensive care,
and she's going to be fine.
my 57 in this class is a 61 now.
so things are starting to look up.
i'm exhausted though.
Anthony wasn't here today.
so during lunch i talked crazy druggy knowledge with Bailey.
haha.
nothing feels good.
except music.
i feel so small.
just a miniscule detail
in a big pile of meaningless shit.
i try not to look at it that way.
and it works usually. but in cycles.
and i'm at the bottom right now.
i'm definitely looking forward to getting back up though.
and i will.
i'm just trapped inside my own head.
and this is a great example of it.
you can't excape somewhere that doesn't really exist.
i gave myself away now i'm nothing
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| pieces and promises and... |
[14 Apr 2005|07:18pm] |
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mood |
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crawl right up on your knees |
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music |
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nine inch nails. "reptilian" |
] |
( left behinds )
aside from that,
i changed the layout of my website (link above)
all around. it's like, way different.
the old layout matched my lj if you never saw it.
i'm not sure if i like the new one,
it looks like shit to be honest.
but it's different.
so yeah.
look at it if you want.
the end.
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| There's something about this psycho bitch |
[14 Apr 2005|11:41am] |
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mood |
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i've succumb to apathy |
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music |
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Pigface- "Bitch" |
] |
um, my little second cousins have been staying with us.
i don't like small children.
but they're not too bad.
but in just two days our house has become a total mess.
reason number 3,009 why i don't want kids.
but the reason they've been staying with us is because my cousin Christina,
their mom, had her third baby the other day.
her uterus ruptured, she lost 8 units of blood.
we only have 12 units.
so the chaplain was even called in and everything and it was really scary.
she's getting better now, but still in the hospital.
reason number 3,00andsomething why i'm not having kids.
Anthony and Aviana (the kids) don't know that, though.
they think they're just spending time at our house.
i'm not sure how much longer they're staying.
so that's been the state of the house lately.
meaning i haven't wanted to be in it.
yesterday i slept all afternoon.
from like 5.30 to 9.30
then i was like awake all night from being un-tired.
haha.
nothing's terrible though.
on April 22nd, Pigface is playing here.
i reallllllllly want to go.
but no one i know knows about them/likes them
so i'd have to go alone, even if i had a ride.
lame.
i think i'll do my current event for world history.
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[12 Apr 2005|11:46am] |
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mood |
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post mortem. |
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music |
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Fischerspooner. =) |
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um.
i don't really have anything to write about.
i've decided that i only formulate opinions in order to cope with the fact that i will never really know or understand anything. and the same goes for everyone.
i hate what thinking can do to me.
i don't know why i do it so much.
i need a labotomy.
i forgot to go to my locker again today!
hahaha. i'm sooo cool. i know you all envy me imensly.
Mrs. Panik let us listen to Tabitha's Fischerspooner CD in biology. she has the new one. i'm jealous.
yeah it's an awesome CD. i think i like it better than their first one.
i think my life right now is one big cry for help.
and i'm definitely in denial.
with that in mind,
i'm having a pretty good day.
and i don't feel to bad.
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| Breeze still carries the sound |
[11 Apr 2005|07:23pm] |
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mood |
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blah. |
] |
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music |
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nine inch nails- "and all that could have been" |
] |
yeah, i thought i should write about how disfunctional i was today. i got to school and i didn't even look at my locker. i probably wasn't even aware what the fuck a locker even was at that point. so in the middle of first period-- i realize "oh my god! you need books for school. and they come in lockers!" good thing i remembered it when i did. i knew something was missing.
and on top of that-- i really had no knowledge of what was going on all day. i was like... ditsy. er.
wich annoys even me. sorry anyone (me) who felt the need to punch my face off.
hahaha. yeah, i just rock at life.
that just goes to show how much i'm TOTALLY in school mode.
my dad walked into my room a forced me to drink an alcoholic beverage like 30 minutes ago. GASP! [sarcasm]
i mean just champagne, but still, it was funny. "drink this! see if you like it."
haha.
this is such a good nin song. it's fast becoming one of my favorites. right up there with Hurt and A Warm Place.
oh, i could rant about so much stuff right now.
but i'll spare you.
(beware! hippy moment!)
i feel very... loving everyone right now.
yes, everyone is officially awesome.
congratulations.
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| We'll drive at 60 miles an hour |
[11 Apr 2005|11:45am] |
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mood |
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nauseaus... but okay. |
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music |
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New Order- "60 miles an hour" |
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sooo... i'm back in school.
bleh.
i think i'm suffering from some sleep deprivation.
i'm at that hyper-exhausted state.
plus i'm freezing cold (for no reason)
and i feel like i'm gonna puke (for no reason)
wich is lame.
but the day isn't too bad.
but no worries.
Katie brought me that nin poster-y thingy.
and it's awesome.
thank you!
I've got New Order in my head.
60 Miles An Hour:
I'll be there for you when you want me to
I'll stand by your side like I always do
In the dead of night it'll be alright
cause i'll be there for you when you want me to
yeah, this one person... mhmm.
=)
i stayed up all night last night listening to A Warm Place and painting.
i haven't been able to paint in sooo long.
to use color like that.
but i can again now.
but i'm out of paper. it sucks.
oh, irony.
i finally went to sleep at 6-ish.
---annnd my entry got cut short by Dumbweddesignteacherwhosucks---
so yeah, i'm home now.
my replacement cell phone was supposed to be here by now,
but it's not here yet.
and now, it's time for a caesar salad.
mmm.
overall day:
not too bad.
annnnnnd
to quote the awesome people at The NIN Hotline:
"And finally, OMG NIN IS LIKE SO ON MYSPACE! Now YOU can be friends with Trent "OMGNINWOW" Reznor. Thanks to all who OMG TOLD US LIKE FIRST!"
haha. i got a kick out of that.
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[10 Apr 2005|03:02pm] |
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mood |
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bored. |
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music |
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Kevorkian Death Cycle "Send Me The Machine" |
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sooo... Six Flags was awwwesommme.
Cody, Me, and Family.
and it was really cool.
we stayed until it closed.
so we got to ride some of the rides at night.
wich they are wayyy better when it's dark.
especially Acrophobia.
that ride was awesome, but the first time we rode
i don't think the line was worth it.
at night though the line was shorter and it looked cooler.
haha, Cody spit and you could see it fall all the way down.
it was awesome.
on the way home there was a spider in the car.
Cody and I flipped out (it crawled on us)
and ended up throwing ourselves into the back seat.
Mom tried to convince us that she killed it...
so to see if she was lying or not cody says:
"what color was it?"
and mom goes:
"Spider"
it was sooooo funny.
and um, yeah it was really fun.
now it's Sunday.
school tomorrow = lame. but oh well.
i have to draw a bookcover for Will.
so i guess i'll do that now.
Trent Reznor wears his sunglasses at night.
recent photo.
i love that man.
=)
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| something real? |
[08 Apr 2005|08:02pm] |
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mood |
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you know me. |
] |
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music |
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Wumpscut. |
] |
you know what's funny? Richard Ramirez's last words to the press after he was convicted and sentanced to death blah blah were: "Big deal! death always came with the territory. I'll see you in disneyland." haha. i think that's great. way to have a positive outlook, Richie (if you don't mind me calling you so).
in other news,
( Wish )
i didn't really do anything today. but i'm going to six flags tomorrow. Cody's coming. it's going to be awesome i can't wait. i'm going to ride everything (that isn't boring or wooden) annnd... yeah. i think we're staying pretty much all day. i think a few other people i know might be going, so i hope to see them there as well. mhmm.
my cell phone is a douche sucking faggot and it broke the other day. i'm getting a new one in the mail by monday though.
and i think i'm going to try to make my [website] look a hell of a lot better. let's hope i'm capable. haha. so i think i'll start on that now. mhmm.
( and i stole this from Marissa )
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| So Will You Take Me Out? knock me out cold. |
[07 Apr 2005|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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Lucid. |
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music |
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Velvet Acid Christ. |
] |
dude i didn't wake up until fucking 2 o'clock today.
it pissed me off.
i thought it was early in the morning but NO.
it was two. lame.
haha.
if it was summer, i wouldn't mind.
but a few days before having to go back to school?
stupid.
so i woke up,
got in the shower,
then cleaned my room.
and now it's like... way clean.
i'm proud of myself.
random cleaning moods = well, a clean room.
ha.
so last night Family, Cody and I went to Media Play.
i got a Velvet Acid Christ CD.
it's pretty good.
and we went to Steak 'N' Shake.
yum.
i can't wait for May.
oh,
and [Meathead is funny]
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| I know you tried to rescue me... [i] didn't let anyone in. |
[06 Apr 2005|11:41am] |
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mood |
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can't get enough of this song |
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music |
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And All That Could Have Been |
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i don't have anything to say about recent events except for that song-- "And All That Could Have Been" by Nine Inch Nails. i posted the lyrics in the last entry.
um. yeah. yesterday i got my hair cut. some more layers and it's a lot shorter. and it's straight. like flat-straight. (yes!) haha. i feel some-what okay looking. yay semi-confidence! haha.
yesterday was my mom and dad's anniversary. 19 years married. but they've been together for 25 years. i love them. and i admire that they're still together. i'm so lucky when it comes to family. because i've got a great one.
Mom wants Nanner and I to go riding with her today. i haven't ridden in sooooooo long. but i owe her this, and it will be fun. i miss my horsies.
then later tonight we're going to Media Play (as far as i know) and Cody is going to attend.
the break is going by too fast! it's lame. but... i'm going to Six Flags on Friday. yes!
---EDIT---
sooo... i went riding. and it was fun. my mom... is so awesome! i love her. she was talking about all the nice things Dad did for their anniversary. and she was like "i've been with him longer than i haven't been" and she was like... "i don't feel this old. i see all these people my age. and i'm not like them. i'm not sophisticated or mature. i wear jeans. they don't" and being all funny about it. so i was like "well... how old do you feel?" and she says like kind of whiney: "...26" hahaha! i love her.
then she was talking about one of our horses, Lily, and was like "whenever i look at Lily i'm like 'why doesn't she have arms?!' and i think it's so weird that she has no arms."
then she was like "i'm just not normal." me: "why?" her: "i'm not a druggie or an alchoholic."
i don't know. she just said all this funny stuff. if she wasn't my mom, i'd still hang out with her.
one last thing. her: "when i was little i got mad at my mom so i took a butcher knife and put ketchup on it and sprawled out on the floor trying to look dead."
i wish i was that clever.
so i had a really good time riding. i rode Sunny. i think he's gay. he hates mud and getting his feet dirty, so he will do anything to avoid muddy parts of the trail. including ram me into trees. haha. other than that it was good. riding is fun, but man, does it hurt your vagina. haha.
and i'm about to leave for Media Play. and Cody's coming. yay!
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| best lyrics ever. |
[05 Apr 2005|09:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Adrift And At Peace |
] |
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music |
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Nine Inch Nails... "and all that could have been" |
] |
breeze still carries the sound
maybe i'll disappear
tracks will fade in the snow
you won't find me here
ice is starting to form
ending what had begun
i am locked in my head
with what i've done
i know you tried to rescue me
didn't let anyone get in
left with a trace of all that was
and all that could have been
please
take this
and run far away
far away from me
i am
tainted
the two of us
were never meant to be
all these
pieces
and promises and left behinds
if only i could see
in my
nothing
you meant everything
everything to me
gone fading everything
and all that could have been
could have been
please
take this
and run far away
far as you can see
i am
tainted
and happiness and peace of mind
were never meant for me
all these
pieces
and promises and left behinds
if only i could see
in my
nothing
you meant everything
everything to me
Dear Trent Reznor,
thank you for descirbing my life.
and being my theropy.
even when everything else is gone,
you are still there.
and that's amazing.
i am totally NOT illegaly making myself a Still cd.
it is amazing.
nothing can compare.
almost nothing anyway.
...
or not.
fuck!
it won't work.
what a piece of shit.
obviously windows media player and it's "cannot copy" notes
have no idea how badly i need this cd.
fuckers.
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[05 Apr 2005|12:52pm] |
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mood |
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pretty good. |
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music |
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nine inch nails... the downward spiral (cd) |
] |
yesterday i hung out with my sister all day.
we played video games.
yeah, we rock!
after various other games, ended up i actually played Silent Hill 4.
and i actually got something accomplished.
and i got to that scary forest place.
and killed things.
oh, what fun. brutally beating things with a big pipe!
then we got tired and quit.
last night i just didn't sleep.
nope. not tired.
i watched that Crybaby movie with Johnny Depp.
cheesy-est dialogue ever. but i lovvvved it. it was great.
and then i did sleep like around six.
and then i still woke up at like... eight.
but i forced myself to lay in bed until like 11.
haha.
when i finally was up and out of bed...
( i rummaged through various sketch/drawing/painting books )
so i'm going to get my hair cut today.
nothing major.
maybe like an inch and a half off.
i desperately need it.
and i think i'll have Courtney straighten it.
yay!
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| Don't Ever Trust The Words of a Stranger-- You Never Know, He Might be a Killer! |
[04 Apr 2005|01:35pm] |
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mood |
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pretty good. |
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music |
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Thrill Kill Kult- "Blondes With Labotomy Eyes" |
] |
spring break re-cap so far:
friday
saw Sin City with Jesse and Anthony.
it was really awesome.
Saturday
Jason and Sean came over.
it was interesting.
haha.
Sunday
went shopping.
went to Dick Blick...got some art stuff.
wich i've been desperately in need of.
went to Olive Garden. (yum!)
went to CD Warehouse... got another Thrill Kill Kult CD.
it's good.
i really like them.
went to Wal Mart. got some new earrings.
the end.
Today
it's Jason's birthday.
he wouldn't tell me what to get him.
so i drew/painted him a picture.
but i don't think it's good enough so i don't want to give it to him.
but he knows about it so he'll probably make me.
oh well.
i've got pictures of it:
( The Process of Art )
*warning! there's a lot*
so he might stop by later to get it.
might not.
so i don't know.
hopefully i'm sill going to go to Six Flags.
but now Brad doesn't want to go.
loser.
but... i don't care. i'm going anyway.
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| I'm in Spanish |
[01 Apr 2005|12:39pm] |
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mood |
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anxious. |
] |
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music |
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fdgsfhdgh |
] |
it's Fridayyyyyyyyyy!!!
oh mannn.
i totally can't wait for spring break.
only like... three more hours.
yes!
we're supposed to be working on a project with a parter.
maybe i should start being more social again so that i won't get fucked out of all these group projects.
hahaha.
oh well.
Sin City tonight with Anthony and Jesse,
maybe meeting up with Tabitha and Marissa.
this should be cool.
i plan to have no bad days this break.
( last night was kinda lame though. )
the end.
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